I can't believe that it is August already. August is usually my least favorite month of all, but so far, not so much. (it is, after all, the 4th, as if we are sooo far into August :-) Riky and I are finally planning to do something by ourselves. We are not sure what yet, but we have a few options. We will have to wait and see.
I have been requesting for just the 2 of us to do something for 13 years now and I guess it is finally time. Last year we were able to go to Cooke City for our anniversary and we had a wonderful time. This year I have no idea what we are doing for that, if anything, for it follows closely after my Birthday, and we may not have the chance to do two things right in a row ...
...But... back to my birthday. Please don't think me ungrateful, because I am not. Riky has tried to shower me with wonderful memories for my birthday every year since we met. He has succeeded. Hands down. No contest. He pours his heart into everything that he does and truly tries to make me feel special. I love the way he loves me, I love his gusto and joy as he tackles every task at hand. He is a wonderful husband and I have been exceedingly blessed to have his presence in my life.
I have always requested just the 2 of us for my birthday because, frankly, I don't want to deal with children one day a year. I guess that it may be that I want to feel special and being in a frazzle is not that special. Inevitably we have people over for cake and ice cream or dinner and dessert, which translates to days of preparation culminating in a very frazzled, screaming me. I do enjoy company, but I rather prefer if I don't know that they are coming first because then there is not the need to have everything perfect for their arrival.
Frankly, I am not the best housekeeper. I can't think of one chore that I really enjoy as far as housework goes. My house is clean enough, I guess, but it never "sparkles". I'm OK with that. Riky is OK with that, so it is OK. Until I know that people are coming over. Then I think~~ somehow~~that IT.MUST.SPARKLE. Why? I don't know. I have gotten better as time has gone by. We had the pastor and his family and Josh and Sherri and family over for the 4th of July--kindof spontaneously and we did clean, but not in a normal frenzied way. I even told the boys not to worry about the deck, because we never use it. Guess what?! EVERYONE walked across the deck to get to the backyard.
EVERYONE.
I was embarrassed for about an hour. My heart was racing, and my forehead was all sweaty because they had seen my deck (which we use as a sort of dog kennel until the yard is finally fenced.) fall/winter 08, maybe??? I am not now and never will apologise for the state of my deck that day. I don't want to bring it up for the chance that no one noticed. Or maybe they did... I don't want to know.
Anyway, back to the b-day. As far as I know, we are not having people over, so I don't have to spend this week filing, organizing, straightening, shampooing, washing bedding...
Really, who would come to a birthday party and ask if all of Riky's paycheck stubs are filed and may they see them please, oh and while you are at it, could you turn down the bed for me so that I can check if your sheets are clean, and I think that I will crawl around your house instead of walk so that I can get a really great view of your flooring...right after I move all of the furniture and check for spots...Oh, oh and could you please show me the inside of your dishwasher, microwave, oven, and washer and dryer. Thanks. Hey, are you sure that your books are lined up by size?
Yet, I feel that until these things are not done, my house is not in order. The projects that we have been working on have really opened my eyes in some ways. My entire basement is in disarray with the exception of the boys' room, bathroom and laundry room. There is Sheetrock, and plaster buckets, paint cans, trim, light fixtures, and tools ALL OVER down there. The yard is not much better. There are building supplies all over out there too. Riky has been working 60 or more hours most weeks, so it is hard to get alot done in the evenings on the garage when he is exhausted. I hate to even suggest working on it, even though I know that he wants it done, because I don't want him to think that I am pushing for him to work harder. I think that he works hard enough. I also remember that he will have more time in the fall/winter than he does right now. Although, sometimes I think that he forgets that and wants to push to get everything done NOW.
I will not let myself get stuck on the disorder, because it could drive me quite mad, I'm afraid. When we moved into this house, as I unpacked I spent alot of time thinking about where I wanted everything and placing it just so. Now most of that is undone. It is driving me nuts. Yet, I am learning how to cope.
Somehow, I must cope.
So...Riky and I are spending some time together this weekend without.
Without the pressure of me having to have the house perfect. Without me yelling at the boys for being boys instead of maids. Without me feeling exhausted and not able to sleep-thoughts of what needs to be done running through my head. Without me trying to get caught up on everything-even laundry, for people who would never never never ask me if my laundry baskets were empty.
I will probably have a spotless house this year, just you wait and see!
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