Lately I have been having a problem bringing my thoughts captive. The Bible tells us to think on those things that are true, holy, righteous, just, pure, and of good report. This is a very hard thing to do at some points in our lives.
Speculation tends to take me in so many different directions. Each time I have to try to bring my thoughts back around to captivity. There is a situation, that I am just a spectator in, going on around me. I have found that except in just a very few cases, coming from an unsaved background, I tend to speculate things farther than reality has gone. This may seem vague. What I am trying to say is that My imagination can come up with horrible things because I have that history to draw from. Those people around me do not have the same mental trash to draw from and therefore can not even fathom how horrible it is to sit in silence and speculate. I must spend much of my time fighting off thoughts that are not what the Bible tells us to think about. Because of the before mentioned situation I am constantly battling depression now. My mind has drug up from the depths of my memory horrible things that I have put behind me and memories that I had laid at the foot of the cross. The Lord really had taken the pain out of these memories for me. He had borne my burden. He was able. Because of my tendency to speculate, all of the mental trash is back. I feel that I am in the same battle all over again. Again I will leave it at the cross and think on things that are holy and true and pure, but for now I feel I am fighting a war in my mind. I can't focus, I can't think clearly, I can't function at times. I am a sinner, saved by grace, though, so bear with me. I may have many more brain dumps like this before I can conquer these thoughts and fight off this depression and be back to me. Thank you for you patience, we will continue with our regularly scheduled programing shortly.
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