I went to Women of Faith!
I was wanting to go and praying that I would get to, but the tickets were too expensive and honestly, I need new glasses, so I didn't want to be too far away... so I had pretty much given up.
Then there was Facebook. I was updating my old washer/dryer for sale add on the Classifieds and saw someone giving free tickets to Women of Faith away. I was re-inspired in my search for tickets.
This was on Friday afternoon. At 3. The (concert?) started at 7. I found tickets for sale. I called the woman... She had 2nd row tickets!!!
So I arranged to purchase 1. 1 lonely ticket. Section 5, Row 2, Seat 5. Smack dab in the center of a bunch of strangers. Alone.
I ran into many women that I knew waiting for the lady that had the tickets and then, later, looking for my seat. I met some facebook "friends" that I had only known through facebook, not personally, until now. I saw cousins and an aunt of Riky's. I saw people that used to attend our church. And even a *girl (not so much anymore) that I went to elementary school with.
Everyone asked the exact same question in the exact same way. "Who are you here with?"
No One!, I would reply with excitement that I didn't feel. I would go on to explain how The Lord opened up a ticket for me at the last minute in the SECOND ROW!
"Well, you can sit with us!" many of them offered. So Sweet, these people in my life are.
I always reminded them that I was sitting second row, so I would see how THAT went first.
Second row wasn't all it was cracked up to be as there was a television monitor right in front of us... We could only see the actual speaker when they walked close to our side of the circular stage. Ehh. It was alright. After intermission I sat with Riky's cousins and enjoyed myself very much, with the exception of the discomfort of the seats.
So Saturday morning I was going to sit with them again, but they seemed to be running late and I couldn't remember exactly which seats were theirs...so I went back down to the stranger row. I enjoyed myself, but by Saturday morning I was feeling lonely, and then the theme of the event started to form.
Now the official theme was LOVED. This was the LOVED tour. But the underlying theme was connectivity. community. friends. "Connect with a community of women that gets what you’re going through..." was written at the bottom of the website promotion page.
I've never felt more alone in my life than I have in the last year. And even more so in the last 6 months. During this Women of Faith (gathering) I felt completely alone.
I ran into another woman who invited me to sit with her. I finally decided that I was going to!... and low and behold, she had one of the best seats in the arena. Front Row, right behind the "porch" (which is what they call the place the speakers gather to watch the show!) (the picture below has not been zoomed in!)
Christ, but they are also best of friends. There were many whispers nudges and "looks" exchanged among those women on the "porch". They had shared so many memories together, they traveled together, raised children together, grew old together, they were an inspiration to me of what true friends are like. They spoke fondly of Barbara Johnson (who has already gone on to be with The Lord). One of the most amazing things about their friendships is that most of them seem to have become friends with each other after hitting the age of 40. I am 37.
All of the sudden,
I have hope. I am inspired. I am kinda ok with not having a girlfriend. I have started a new blog. It will be more anonymous than this one. It won't have images of my family...I will be a record of my journey and what The Lord has done in and with my life. It's called A Lonely Little Blog www.alonelylittleblog.blogspot.com
I am excited to be lonely, so that other women may be able to become inspired by my journey!
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