There may be hope after all

I have spent half of this year wondering if I was just not meant to have more children.
After this happened: **Copied from my face book posts**
"Due to some half truths and exaggerated statements, our foster children and Stormie have been removed from our home. We will be getting rid of everything extra that we have and moving forward. We are not willing to put our family under the stress and scrutiny that comes along with all of this any longer and have decided that we will no longer have the state involved in our lives..... I just want you to know that I will covet your prayers during this hard time in our lives. We are forever changed and are not sure what the Lord holds for our future. But we know that the Lord holds our future. And He is in charge of everything. We are brokenhearted, we are defeated, we are overwhelmed. But God is in charge and we will trust Him. Always. Through everything."
"When you feel depression sweeping over you like a dark cloud.. What do you do to keep it at bay? Or is it only me this happens to? And then never mind! It's all sunshine and roses here!"
"I am so depressed. I am trying to pull out of it... But all I really want to do is sleep. Does anyone know if I actually did sleep for a few days if it would help or just brig me lower? I tend to want to follow my body and just sleep till this goes away... But I know that depression often makes my body a liar. Help."
"I am determined to spend the next few days singing "It is well with my Soul" I went to a funeral today of a dear sweet girl and her mother and realized that I may actually be going through the grieving process (with the help of some friendly words) A little over a year ago I lost my son to death and honestly it feels like I have lost 5 more children now. I can imagine a little of what Horatio Spaford must have been going through losing his son and then his 4 daughters not too long after. I think that If I can look at this as a mourning process it will be a whole lot easier to go through rather than a bottomless pit of despair and depression. It really is well with my soul and I have to remember those words. When sorrows like sea billows roll, whatever my lot, Thou has taught me to say.... it is well, it is well with my soul. Thank you guys for your prayers and kind words. Please don't stop. I need all the help I can get. Love you guys!"

I have spent the last few months trying to find out a way to dissolve our guardianship of Stormie so that we can avoid adjudication and termination of our guardianship by the state.  The tribe has been no help at all.  They either don't return calls or they don't know who could possibly help me.  I will not be able to adopt with the state's approval if we go to adjudication.

After I essentially gave up on that and was just going to let what happens happen, Riky agreed that we could try to have another baby if I can get my health and weight under control.  We found out that it is super expensive to have a man with a vasectomy donate to making a baby.  Ugh

I also found out that in Montana a mother can turn over her rights without the approval of the state for the child to be adopted to a family of their choosing.  It just costs lawyer fees and 36 hours of counselling for the bio parents.  But where do I find a parent like that?

So, over the last few days I have been looking at sperm donors.  I don't know what else to do....

And then today I got a call from the new social worker and she told me that she would help me with dissolving guardianship.  She understood our situation.  She cares.  Ahhh..
This is what I've been waiting for.  
I think that with her help we should be able to avoid adjudication and may be able to adopt through a private agency in the future.  We will keep looking at all of our options, but I feel like there is hope again. Praise The Lord for that!